Mon amour, tu me manques (My love, you are missing from me)
by WriterLiz88
Summary: The gang (Felix, Sarah, Allison, Helena and Kira) rally around Cosima after the death of her lover, as each of them try to help in their own way.


Cosima hasn't moved for two days, and the sisters, exhausted and sad, are worried too. Sarah immediately flew back with Kira and Cal at the news, but Cal has taken Kira for lunch, in order to give the clones (and Felix) a bit of space. All of them had cared for Delphine in their various ways- tumultuous and all, but seeing Cosima curled up under the red duvet, only her glasses and dreads slightly sticking out, makes their heart want to break.

Helena, Allison, Sarah, and Felix sit on the couch, quietly whispering.

"Sestra Cosima is sad," Helena remarks, as she eats.

Sarah nods, and swallows yet another lump in her throat.

"Yes, she is," Allison finishes for Sarah, who shoots her a grateful look. "We are all sad."

Allison shudders as she remembers the night- hearing a gunshot in the carpark near her restaurant, Cosima's flushed face looking at her in fear, and saying the words, "I think it's Delphine." She remembers the sisters and Felix rushing over, not caring about the dangers and consequences, remembers hearing Cosima's howl of pain when she sees her lover on the ground, blood pooling from a gunshot wound to the stomach. She remembers seeing Cosima collapse to the ground, and Sarah kneeling down to embrace her sister in arms. Allison remembers taking both Felix's and Helena's hand as they watched the nightmarish scene unfold.

She doesn't even know tears are running down her face until Felix, sitting beside her on the couch, hands her a tissue.

"Sorry," Allison murmurs, trying to compose herself.

"Cos lost the love of her life," Sarah says, rubbing her eyes tiredly, and shooting another glance to the bed. Cosima is asleep, but restless. "I'm going to go check on her."

Felix watched Sarah scootch into bed with Cosima, whispering gently to her. Cosima's eyes open as she stares into Sarah's, her eyes filling with tears. Sarah puts her arms around her sister, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. They both close their eyes again, falling asleep within seconds. Helena looks confused.

"Brother sestra, what do we do now?" she asks. "How we can help?"

Felix bites his lip, and looks at Allison. "I don't know if there's anything we can do, Helena," he says. He hates watching his sisters like this, in pain. "Why don't we pick up something to eat for lunch?"

"Okay, Felix," Helena agrees, happy to be able to do something. They get their coats, but notice Allison hasn't moved.

"Are you coming sestra?" Helena asks.

Allison shakes her head slightly. "You go," she concurs. "This place is a mess. I'll tidy it up."

She catches Felix's slight eye roll, but there is a glimmer of understanding in his eyes.

"Okay, darling," he agrees, squeezing Allison's shoulder, and Felix and Helena finally leave.

Allison putters around the apartment, doing dishes, and sweeping. She sighs as she wonders how Felix and Cosima can live in such dirt. Her sigh causes Sarah to stir, and fixes Allison with a stern look.

"Take a turn with her," Sarah instructs, untangling herself from Cosima's arms. "It's not just me she needs right now."

"I'm terrible at physical comfort," Allison says, faltering.

Sarah rolls her eyes, and shakes her head. "You're a Mom, Allison. Of course you're not."

Allison shrugs slightly, takes off her cleaning gloves, and climbs into Cosima's bed as Sarah runs herself a bath. Cosima's back is turned to her, so Allison gently rubs Cosima's back, like Gemma has always requested Allison to do when she isn't feeling good. She hears Cosima stir, and start to sniffle. Cosima turns over to face her sister and Allison pushes a piece of Cosima's hair behind her ear.

"It's okay to cry," she says gently. "It's okay to be mad too."

"I don't even know what to feel," Cosima says. "How could this be happening?"

Allison shakes her head slightly. This.. is incomprehensible. "What can I do for you?"

"You're doing it," Cosima says, resting her head on Allison's shoulder. "Just stay with me for awhile."

The girls stay awake, not speaking, but taking comfort in their closeness.

Felix and Helena arrive a few minutes later.

"Oi," Felix shouts. "Lunchtime."

He glances at the three sisters who have managed to find their way to the bed. Helena goes over to join them, snuggling up to Cosima and giving her a kiss on the cheek. He gives the girls a pointed stare, who don't seem to be moving. "Now. Food. Nutrients. Go."

"I'm not hungry," Cosima grumbles. "How can anyone bear to eat at a time like this, anyway?"

Felix motions to the girls, who start preparing the dishes and cutlery for lunch, talking quietly as they work. Cosima has her head buried underneath the covers again. Felix lifts the covers up, and gets into bed with Cosima, holding her in a tight embrace

"I miss her so much," Cosima cries. "You know, in French, instead of saying you miss someone, they say someone is missing from you. And it's true Felix," Cosima sobs, "Delphine is gone. She is missing from me. And she's never coming back."

Felix's eyes fill with tears as well, as he kisses Cosima on the cheek. He loves all the sisters, for different reasons, but Cosima has worked up a place in his heart.

"Darling girl," he whispers. "Let's eat something, okay? You haven't eaten in two days, and you need to keep your strength up. Then we can go to bed again. Just try for us, okay?"

Cosima nods. "Tissue?"

Felix hands her one.

"Wine?"

"Easy tiger," Felix smirks. "Let's start with some soup."

As Cosima shakily sits down at the table, she finds comfort in the faces staring at her, and the mundane aspects of life she has forgotten have existed the past few days. Sarah scoffing at Helena to "please, chew your food with your mouth closed!", Allison's small talk about her children, and Felix's watchful eye on her.

Cal and Kira enter, back from lunch, and Cosima watches with a hint of a smile as she sees her niece enter, taking off her jacket, and not going to her Mom, but waiting to climb onto Cosima's lap instead.

A hint of a smile hits Cosima's lips as she lifts Kira up to her lap, and Kira wraps her arms around her. Cosima inhales the strawberry shampoo smell of Kira's hair, as she holds onto her niece.

"Thanks, kiddo," she whispers.

Kira says "You're welcome," and continues to snuggle into her Auntie Cosima's body. For the first time, Cosima thinks, maybe life can go on again, with her family by her side.


End file.
